Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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