so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
