it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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