There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
