your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
