He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
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I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
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A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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