I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
How's work?
Spinning.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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