Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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