we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
