I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
