Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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