Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
