smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize