i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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