we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
