I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize