just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize