just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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