that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Randomize
