You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize