tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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