wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
