Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
