I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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