I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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