Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
