"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
