My room smells like vodka and shame
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
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The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
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A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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