as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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