Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
