Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
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when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
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If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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