chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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