I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
