16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
