walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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