Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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