I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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