do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
