It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
