My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.