I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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