Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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