we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
