He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
