she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
