I accidentally had phone sex last night
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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