If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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