it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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