Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
