come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
