Where is the hickey?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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