ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
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it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Can I color on your dick again?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
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I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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