Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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