She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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