I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
