my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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