i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
