he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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