He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
