Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
