so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
