She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
