they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
