just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
