My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize