Barsexuality is the new black.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
