It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Less talking, more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize