Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
