you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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