1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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